Velvet Hammer: You’re Not Gonna Believe This

Folks, what I just uncovered may be the most surprising find in my archiving career. I mentioned before that sometimes raw production tapes from commercials turn up in thrift stores. Well, they don’t get more raw than this.

This tape contains two things. One is an ad for Norm and Perry’s Velvet Hammer, an auto body repair shop. Then there’s a blank screen for 30 seconds, and then A HARDCORE PORNO VERSION OF THAT AD APPEARS, also filmed at Velvet Hammer and starring the same actors, and also possibly Norm and Perry themselves taking part. It was clearly never meant to get out (and also, the box it came in reeks like stinky cigars).

NOTE: Relax, this is the “clean” part.

I obviously cannot upload the other portion of the tape, but I fear a lot of you won’t believe me. So I’ve taken you as far as I possibly can. This is the contents of the tape up to the title screen of the second segment, “THE ADVERTURES (sp) OF NORM + PERRY.” Viewer discretion: you’ll hear a lot of moaning even if you can’t see anything, so don’t play it at work. One second longer and you’d be staring at a close-up of Norm jerking his unit. Just be grateful you don’t know what that looks like.